The LIRR has a section of seats in each car that are 3 seats facing one another (see diagram to right). I always aim to sit in these set of seats due to the fact that I’m 6’5 and sitting in the regular seats hardly offers me enough leg room to sit comfortably for an hour long train ride. Of course this only works in my favor if no one sits across from me. If they do, I gain nothing from this seat and in fact I’m no better off than I would have been sitting in a seat with my knees in the back of the seat in front of me. This fails in every situation a person sits across from me no matter how old they are. I’ve calculated the only way this could work out is if the person were to have no legs at all.
I had a 5 year old (estimate) sit across from me last week on the train that his legs were too small to go over the edge of the seat and flex his knee, so I was left with him kicking my bony knees all the way to NYC. Petite women think they are special and can fit without a problem, but no matter how skinny you are, you are fat to me in this position. There’s the occasional person who thinks “Oh I’ll just spread my legs and they can put their legs in between mine or vice versa.” First of all lady, I barely do that with my girlfriend and I just met you, and quite frankly you’re ugly and you sir, I’m not homophobic but I’m not inviting you into my personal space with myself spread eagle, nor am I entering closer to your jean bulge(is it a penis or not? I’ll never know) with my freakishly long legs just so we can have a “little leg room.” There are a couple of reasons I put myself through these risks everyday. 75% if the time I’d say everything works out optimally. No one sits across from me because I make it abundantly clear how my massive frame(more of a portrait than a landscape) is mostly made up in my legs(think pencils). When people do sit across from me, it usually doesn’t occur till Jamaica station, which is only about 20 minutes into Penn, but this annoys me even more as I will explain shortly. If everyone follows unwritten commuter code for sitting in this seating arrangement, then 3 people can sit here optimally with maximum comfort level and thwart off all attempts at anymore people sitting. I will explain more in Part 2 when I discuss the optimal seating arrangements.